Fitness Expo

Over a recent weekend my friend Tyson had orchestrated a series of submission wrestling seminars at the Fitness Expo 2007 in Pasadena, California. On the following Monday at the gym Shannan Leigh asked me if I had attended any of them. I reminded her that I had had trouble getting into Tyson's last event and had stormed off in disgust. Eventually I had gotten over the incident, but I was not about to rush out and stand in line for another of Tyson's promotions anytime soon.

"Well, I went to the Fitness Expo, but I didn't see any of Tyson's people." Shannan told me as we pedalled on the exercise bikes at the gym. "I did see tons of weirdos there though. You probably would have enjoyed watching some of them since you become so fascinated with strange characters."

"Why? Who was there?" I asked her.

"Bodybuilders, powerlifters, fitness models, and such. Some of their bodies were really freaky." she responded with amusement.

"Oh. Those type of people don't interest me." I said.

Shannan turned her head to regard me.

"Why not? You always get obsessed with abnormal people. Remember Al the drunk boxing coach? Siggi the Sign King who became a crack addict? Large Dog Larry with his feathered hairstyle and massive cock? Your 85-pound ZipRealty agent with the meth problem? What about them? Why do they interest you while the bodybuilders do not?" she asked with genuine puzzlement.

I thought about it as I pedalled slowly. My gaze wandered around the gym. A few pro wrestlers were practicing some moves in the boxing ring. A powerlifter was strutting around with his shirt off between sets. Two women in heavy makeup were walking on treadmills. After quite some time and a lot of rumination I finally said:

"Powerlifters, bodybuilders, and fitness people are not compelling because they tend to be one-dimensional. You know exactly what they do and why they do it so there's nothing to guess at. Their narcissism and need for attention induce them to take their quest for muscularity to ridiculous extremes. Some of them might be nice people, but they never seem to have multi-layered personalities. They talk about working out and dieting all day long even when they are not training. And they always use the word "training". What are they training for? None of them are athletes in any conventional sense. Of course there must be some exceptions to this general personality type - there have to be - but I don't think I have met any. Bottom line: going to a convention full of those people would not generate any shivers of excitement for me."

Shannan shook her head.

"You are sneering at bodybuilders and you're the same person who spends hours wandering around skid row in downtown Los Angeles." she commented.

"Well, yeah. I get goosebumps when I go downtown. A lot of people there have incredible stories and amazing energy about them." I said. "And, incidentally, I was not sneering at bodybuilders. You asked why they did not interest me and I was just trying to figure it out and explain it."

"Try thinking about the subject a little harder." Shannan replied. "I suspect that you just talk shit about the bodybuilders and fitness people because you drink too much and aren't in very good shape. You are just jealous. Someone should just strap you to that bike you are on and make you work out harder."

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- XXOO Tanya








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